How to Master the Art of Confidence
The most beautiful things you can wear is confidence
Blake Lively
Confidence. Self-belief. Self-esteem. Happiness!
These words tend to be referred to as separate entities and are typically seen as separated and different ideas. Each with a different way to approach each of them. However, this isn’t always the case.
For example, did you know having confidence can boost your self-esteem, self-belief and enable you to work on your inner joy entirely? Each concept is a cog in the same machine.
Within this blog, I am going to zero in on confidence which can act as a gateway into the other areas of feeling better about yourself to help you create the life you want to live.
Confidence is a skill you can learn, not a talent you are born with.
The Different Intensities of Confidence
It is important to note there are different levels of confidence. Your level of confidence will depend on the situation you are in and who you are right now as an individual.
For example, you can be a confident driver and yet as you to give a presentation at work, you become a quivering wreck.
Likewise, you may be a confident speaker at work, but asked to do a 60-second at a networking meeting and you find yourself out of breath and unable to speak coherently.
Are you confident with your current clients, but lack confidence when speaking to new potential leads?
Many of my clients will tell me they lack confidence! Yet when I speak to them, they quickly realise they have confidence in some areas, but not in others.
What I would like to do is to help you on your way to becoming more confident in those areas of your life where you feel as though it is lacking, even if you don’t realise it just yet.
What Does Confidence Mean to You?
Is it the ability to give a good speech; a speech where you captivate your audience, and they hang off your every word?
Does confidence mean feeling strong when dealing with your co-workers or managers?
Does it mean having the drive to start or continue building your business?
Does having confidence to you mean just getting through the day?
Or maybe confidence means feeling comfortable in your own skin?
Confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than everyone, it's walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.
Growing your confidence takes time, patience and practice as well as being mindful about stepping out of your comfort zone.
This is where the challenge begins! To be able to practice this; you need to do the things that make you feel unconfident.
You have to acknowledge them, face them, embrace them, and ultimately, overcome them.
With a few of my tips and tools, you can help yourself get past the uncomfortableness of the situation, enabling yourself to grow.
Let me ask you a couple of questions, do take some time out to really think about them and answer them truthfully.
It can really help if you write down the answers on a piece of paper.
Remember, you’re the only one who needs to look at this piece of paper, so be as honest and as detailed as you can. Whether you write a couple of words or several pages, this action can be the start of the rest of your life.
Questions:
- What are the consequences in your life of not having confidence?
- What will it mean to you to become more confident?
EXAMPLE:
NOTE: The same logic can be applied no matter what your dreams or ambitions are.
Let’s imagine you’re starting your own business.
If you start to work on your confidence, imagine that you can start to implement those ideas you have for your own business.
Such as talking at networking events, being visible on social media. Learn a new skill. Collaborate with other business owners. Grow your business in a way that aligns with you. Have the business you deserve.
As the saying goes “the world is your oyster,” but in order to enjoy the oyster, you need to get into it first. It’s a tough nut to crack. You need work hard for it and consistently put yourself forward.
This is a daily process that doesn’t have an end, but more of a continuous journey where you find yourself getting better and better and better.
The world is your oyster. It's up to you to find the pearls.
Chris Gardner
Nevertheless, there is no reason to feel overwhelmed with this process.
Everybody has to start somewhere, and it’s important to remember that everyone walks their journey one step at a time.
Here are some tips to help you along the way.
TOP TIPS TO MASTER CONFIDENCE
1. Focus Your Effort
In what area of your life do you want to become more confident?
If you have a few different areas you’d like to improve, start by choosing one.
Now see where it is you need to become confident and break it down into manageable parts to start working on them.
By focusing your efforts into one area at a time will feel less overwhelming. A little bit like eating an elephant. Just one bite at a time.
2. Monitor Your Progress
Reward yourself for every goal you achieve as you are on your confidence journey.
For example, if you want to become a good speaker, reward yourself for the first speech you make, then again for the 5th speech you make, etc.
Every now and then look back and see how far you have come.
This enables you to realize how you are progressing and congratulate yourself on the progress you’re making.
3. Be Aware of Your Self-Talk
Listen to the words you tell yourself daily. Are they negative or positive words. Do you put yourself down or raise yourself up. Are they words you would say to a friend or colleague?
If they are negative words, consciously change them to positive words that raise you up instead using the words that will tear you down.
4. Be Fearless
Your enemy is not failure; your enemy is the fear of failure stopping you from following your dreams.
There’s no denying that building confidence and setting big goals can feel overwhelming at times. It can feel a bit scary, especially when you haven’t done it before.
There are times when you are going to question yourself and want to stop where you are. This is where you need to dig deep within yourself and remember why it is you started on this journey in the first place.
Every successful person has been afraid at some point on their journey, yet they kept going. They kept pushing!
Is what you want to accomplish more important than your fear? I really hope you are nodding here and that your answer is yes.
When you have those feelings of overwhelm, dig deep and become fearless.
5. Connect with Others
Find people who are on the same journey as you, create a tribe and an accountability and support system.
Connect with people who you admire and who have been on the same road as you are on right now.
Ask them to mentor you and to be someone who you can reach out to for guidance, advice, and encouragement.
Confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you are better than everyone, it 's walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.
6. Be Consistent
Building confidence is not doing something once and then becoming an expert, it is about being consistent in your action that will lead you to your confidence.
7. Think Long-Term
When building your confidence or any skill,, for that matter, you need to think long term, look at the bigger picture.
Big goals require sacrifice, you will need to have some self-discipline, and at the same time you will need to dig deep within yourself. It might make things feel tedious, and you will feel frustrated. But just keep going, think about the bigger picture!
Imagine the pride you will feel in yourself when you accomplish your goal.
Imagine how you will feel when you feel more confident, and you are able to pursue your dreams.
You will need to decide if the short-term effort is worth the long-term goal. Remember the long-term goal is what will bring you more joy and the feeling of accomplishment than your short-term comfort of not dealing with your fear.
8. Develop a Personal Mantra
Find yourself a good quote, or a series of words that inspire you. Write them down on post-it notes or in a diary or anywhere.
Put them on a notice board!
Place them all over your house, like your fridge. Also put them in you car.
Take a photo and screen save it to your phone or anywhere that you will see them regularly throughout the day.
This will help you to stay focused and inspired to keep going.
9. Believe in Yourself
The bridge between the you now and the you of your dreams is believing in yourself.
Believe in yourself and believe that you can do it and keep believing in yourself.
Know your worth and all that you have to offer.
10. Take Action
You need to take the first step and keep taking steps. forward. Keep taking action, and you will transform your life and become the person who you want to become.
This will enable you to build the future you want.
You cannot take big leaps toward success unless you first take small steps to build confidence.
It’s Not Plain Sailing; It’s an Ocean Adventure
There will be times while you are building your confidence, when you will experience failure and feel like you’re losing confidence, but this is all part of the process.
Use those experiences as part of your learning curve.
Imagine yourself when you were learning to walk as a toddler. How many times did you fall before you could walk? This is the same thing, but with fewer bruises on your behind from falling. You didn’t give up then, so don’t give up now!
It takes time to build confidence; it takes time to conquer your fears!
Just keep going! Don’t stop! You will get there if you do not give up and stop.
Now, I know I said I was only going to talk about confidence, but there is a side effect that I did not mention. Confidence can be beneficial to your health and wellbeing especially if you embrace the learning journey with a positive attitude.
With the building up of your confidence the better you will feel; your self-esteem will grow your self-belief will increase and, above all, your inner happiness will start to grow.
This is a wonderful side effect and, best of all, you have the potential to become a confident and happy person you were born to be. The world is waiting for you. Go and take it.
When you are asking yourself is it worth it, is doing the above actions worth building and growing your confidence, here is an older video that I created talking about the Confidence Triangle, which will help you realise some of the benefits to confidence.
Remember to live your life with confidence!
Chat soon
Natalie
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